apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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