Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I believe in your delicious
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize