I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
