Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
