I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
