dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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