I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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