when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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