So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
