So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
should my penis look like a turkey
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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