Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize