I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
