he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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