honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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