Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
The ass gains better be worth it
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