There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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