Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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