He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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