he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
