literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
