We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
