and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
