Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
