I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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