I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
