I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
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Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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