I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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