Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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