Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
