so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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