My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I party with great urgency now.
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