i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
