But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
