His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
