my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo