Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
