I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
