He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?