Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I deserve this hangover.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
