Whod you bang
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
