that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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