i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
