3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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