ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
