Yo dont text me then not text me
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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