Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
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what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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