every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
