I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize