So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Four minutes until I can fart!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
