okay pat passed out under dana's car
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
