I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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