Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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