i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
