fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize