In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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