3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just forgot I was standing up.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
