so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
