The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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