I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
