I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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