I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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