I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize