You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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